As you ken see from the pictures at right, I invented a way that I could use the tremendous power from my Powerful Steam Shovel to open them Oreo Cookies quickly and without making a mess that might end in a trip to sit in the corner.
That's me in the background, operating the control for my Powerful Steam Shovel, as Ty (left), Sniffy and Peanut look on.
Of course, it would be better if we had a big jug of chocolate milk to go with it. Or, if you prefer, cuz it might be cold outside where you live, hot chocolate also works, as well as coffee if you're a big person.
All About Eating JELL-O®
JELL-O® is very good when eaten with the traditional spoon.
For variety, or if you drop your spoon on the floor, you ken jest try eating it with a fork, although in them Oriental countries where most of us hounds came from, lots of people eat JELL-O® with chopsticks, but you have to be reel good at using them chopsticks to do that. (Personally, I found out that chopsticks work better fer scratching my back).
You ken also moosh it up and drink it from a bowl or cup or glass, and if you moosh it up enough you ken drink it through one of them big straws that they have at the Slurpee store.
If the person who wants you to eat the JELL-O® isn’t looking, you ken jest acksidentally dump it on the floor and ask fer something that’s easier to eat, like ice cream and chocolate chip cookies, frinstance.
Another way to eat JELL-O® is to cut it up into cubes after it gets done freezing in the fridgerator, then trade the different colored cubes with your neighbors so each of you has 3 or 4 different colors of JELL-O®, and that gives you something to do until the next batch of JELL-O® arrives.
You ken also eat JELL-O® in different places to make it more exciting. You ken eat it in a chair, or in bed. Or in the elevator, cuz then you ken see it wiggle and jiggle reel good and it might get you laughing, specially if a bunch of you are being silly and all eating JELL-O®, but be careful, cuz that’s usually when I start giggling too much and it squirts out my nose and ears.
That reminds me, the last time I had to eat JELL-O® was after I got my ear operated on to put in a new squeaker and I wasn’t feeling good fer a little while, then when that new squeaker broke, I felt even worse, so now I jest don’t have no squeaker.
For more variety, some of us guys have been known to put a nice slice of JELL-O® between the middle of a hamburger bun, since them buns come in a package of 8, but we normally get 5 hamburgers out of a pagacks [plural of package] of hamburger meat. That way there is always 3 of them buns left over, and they usually grow green things if they sit there too long. Sometimes we also put in a piece of lettuce if there is also some of that lying around, but it definitely doesn’t go with onions or pickles or ketchup or mustard, so we jest glob on some whipped cream if we have any, and it makes a great meal that is also a dessert.
If you have trubble with the JELL-O® being too wiggly, you ken jest mix it with less water and it will turn out less wiggly.
Another trick is to make some of that less wiggly JELL-O® and pour it into a piece of old garden hose that you ken cut out of the middle of the long hose and put it into the fridgerator to get wiggly. Then you ken jest heat the hose piece in some warm water a little until that JELL-O® pops out and it will look zacktly like a hot dog if you do it right. Then you ken use up some of them exter hot dog buns that was left over cuz somebuddy ate up the hot dogs without the bun. Instead of mustard you ken also put on some whipped cream that comes in one of them squirt cans, and it’ll look jest like a reel hot dog, but it won’t give you the hot dog burps that we all hate.
Remember: You never outgrow your need fer JELL-O®! It will also keep your claws or fingernails from breaking if you eat enough of it. That way if you’re out in the back yard digging up bones, and you don’t have a Powerful Steam Shovel, like I do, you won’t have that trubble to deal with.
Another thing you ken do is throw little blocks of JELL-O® at cats if they’re giving you some trubble, and the ants in the neighborhood will eat it up and the evidence will be all gone so you won’t get into no trubble.
Also, I jest discovered another exciting resipey of how to make JELL-O®-Oreo Instant Pudding treats and you ken read all about it here:
If you happen to make too much JELL-O®, me and the guys will help you eat it up!
How Coffee Was Discovered
Once upon a time, about a zillion years ago, there was this feller named Jack Valdez, who lived in an old shack with his mother, Trixie.
They was poor people, and they was almost starving, cuz Trixie had lost her job down at the candle factory due to layoffs cuz lots of other people was also too poor to buy very many candles. Most of them couldn’t read anyhow, so they didn’t reely need no candles except when it was time to eat dinner. It’s reel hard to eat in the dark without biting your paws or fingers, or eating some food that has green things growing all over it, so that’s when most people used their candles.
Anyhow, they had this reel cool cow named “Mrs. Moo,” who manufactured lots of milk that they both drank, but both of them was getting tired of drinking milk all the time, and they wanted some reel food. Neither Jack nor his mom wanted to turn Mrs. Moo into hamburgers, though, so it was decided that Jack would take Mrs. Moo into town and sell her to get some money to buy something to eat.
Jack got some money and went shopping. He bought some hotdogs and hotdog buns, some tater chips and mustard and some chocolate chip cookies, and a couple of jugs of chocolate milk.
Then on his way home, a feller stepped out of an alley and offered Jack some magic beans fer a couple of the dollars he had left over. When Jack got home, they both had a reel feast and pretty soon all the food and chocolate chip cookies and chocolate milk was all gone and they were right back where they had started, except that now they didn’t have no cow to manufacture any more milk.
That’s when Jack remembered the magic beans and he showed them to his mom. There wasn’t no instruction book with them beans, so Jack didn’t exactly know what they was supposed to do, and when his mom heard that, she totally flipped out and threw them beans out the window.
Some of them magic beans landed on the ground outside, in the garden, but some of them landed in a kettle of water boiling on the stove.
After a little while when they was both sitting there in the dark, they smelled something that smelled pretty good coming from the stove. Jack lit one of the candles and checked it all out, and he saw that the boiling water had turned brown and smelled pretty good.
He took a little taste with a wooden spoon and he thought it tasted pretty good, then his mom came over and tasted the brown liquid as well. They both reely liked the liquid, and they was both drinking it when Jack got some down the wrong pipe and almost choked on it. He coughed, then wheezed, and that’s when his mom thought he had said, “Coffee.” So that’s what they called it.
Then the next morning they went out to see what had happened to the rest of the beans Trixie had thrown out the window, but they were nowhere in sight.
After about a couple of weeks Trixie noticed a whole bunch of funny-looking little trees growing in her garden, then smelled that familiar smell of the “Coffee” coming from the leaves and the little berries that was growing on each little tree already.
After about another couple of weeks, all of the little trees was covered with zillions of them magic beans so Jack went out and picked a handful of them and threw them into a boiling kettle again, and they had a reel cool “Coffee Party,” and they was pretty much awake all night, there in the dark, drinking coffee until the sun came up in the morning.
Pretty soon they figgered out to plant a whole bunch of more of them magic beans and then they could manufacture lots more of them little trees and grow even more coffee and sell it to their friends and neighbors. Eventually, Jack figgered out that you could cook them beans in the oven and make the coffee taste even better, and also, then it made the beans so they wouldn’t grow into a tree in case one of his customers that bought some beans tried to grow his own trees.
Eventually, people in the big city at the bottom of the mountain heard about his invention of “Coffee,” and they all wanted to try some, so Jack started taking some into town and selling them beans in little brown bags that held about a pound. After not a whole long time, he started hauling them into town with a little red wagon that he bought with some of the exter money he had earned from selling them magic beans.
In another town on the other side of the mountain there was another kid named “Jack,” and he had also bought some magic beans from the same guy, but them was different beans, and they jest grew into a giant beanstalk, and Jack got into some trubble with some giant or something and had to chop down that reely big beanstalk, and then wound up with nothing but a dead beanstalk that crashed down on top of his neighbor’s house and pretty much wrecked it.
Fer that reason, the first Jack, Jack Valdez, who had gotten the coffee beans, decided to change his name, so he changed it to “Juán,” which is Spanish for Jack.
“And the rest is history,” as they say.
Course, that’s jest one story about Juán Valdez and how he got reel rich in his coffee business. You ken jest click here to find out more: More about Juán Valdez
Oh, yeah, they made so much money that they was pretty soon able to buy back “Mrs. Moo,” who was reel glad to be back home. Then they turned some of the milk she manufactured into cream to make the coffee reely good!
Then...they all lived happily ever after.
Quote of the Day:
"A Diamond is Forever...but a bag of fries seldom makes it home!" --Sparky
Quote of Another Day:
" 'Desserts' is 'Stressed' Spelled Backwards. The reason is cuz when there's no dessert, I always get stressed." --Sparky
More About Bananas
Brain Power: Some students at an English school were helped through their exams by eating bananas at breakfast, break and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert. Banana burps also help make you stay awake.
Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.
And the next time you see a mosquito about to bite you, you can smack him with the banana!
You ken also keep a spare banana skin in your pocket or hanging around your neck fer jest such an occasion, also.
More About Oreo Cookies
You ken jest type in "Oreo Cookies", on your WWW computer thingy or click here Oreos and it will show you about a zillion websites that you ken check out fer more information on those delicious cookies.
Fer even more exciting information about Oreos and other things they make, click here: More Oreos
Some History of the Oreo Cookie
• 1898 National Biscuit
Company (NaBisCo) founded.
• 2004 Sparky got reel sick from eating too many Oreos.
A Short History of JELL-O®
In 1845, the industrialist, inventor and
philanthropist Peter Cooper, of Tom Thumb engine and Cooper Union fame,
obtained the first patent for a gelatin dessert. Although he packaged
his gelatin in neat little boxes with directions for use, Cooper did
very little with it. Home cooks still relied on sheets of prepared
gelatin, which had to be clarified by boiling with egg whites and shells
and dripped through a jelly bag before they could be poured into molds.
This was a time-consuming process, very different from today's JELL-O®
1897, Pearle B. Wait, a carpenter and cough medicine manufacturer from
LeRoy, New York, developed a fruit-flavored version of Cooper's gelatin.
His wife, May Davis Wait, named it JELL-O®.
First flavors were: strawberry, raspberry, orange and lemon.
In 1899, Wait sold the business to Orator
Francis Woodward, a neighbor, for $450.
Some Flavors of JELL-O®
Question of the Day:
knows that if you make reel strong coffee and drink too much of it, the
caffeine in it will keep you wide awake fer a reel long time. So,
if you make decaf coffee reel strong and drink a whole bunch of it, will
it make you go to sleep fer a reel long time?"
Some Cool Coffee Flavors:
You ken also click here for more websites that tell you all about Flavored Coffees.