Then we came to a famous town named Morro Bay, that’s famous cuz they have this here
reel big rock at the end of town and it probably keeps the town from
sliding into the ocean or something.
They also have a couple of reely tall smokestack chimneys on a big
way up on one of them chimneys there is a sign that says, “145 FEET.”
That was put there so anybuddy who doesn’t know how high 145 feet is can
jest quickly refer to that chimney and know right away how high it is.
Then we came to another city, “Santa Cruz,” (it was named after
Santa Clause's brother), and they have
a great big Roller Coaster there at the musement park, but it went reel
fast, so none of us guys or the old folks, either, wanted to ride on it.
To see more great pitchers and find out more information click your mouse
Then we went up into the mountains where the old folks and Sniffy and
Ty got a train ride on 2 different trains. The first train ride went from
there to back down to the boardwalk at Santa Cruz, where they could have
rode the roller
coaster, but none of them still wanted to do that, so they jest ate some
lunch and took the train back to the mountains. Another train, which had a
reel steam locomotive called a “Shay Locomotive,” took them fer a ride
up to the top of some reel tall mountain, through a bunch of reely big
trees, and them trees was even too big even for one of them big, noisy
smoky pickups that has the exter wheels on the back to pull over with a chain. The train place also had a deal where they would
let a feller drive the shay locomotive
for $95.00. If the guy would have left I could have drove it fer free, but
he din’t seem to be one of those trusty guys. The pitcher
shows the Shay locomotive squirting out a lot of steam from all over the
place, and that's jest okay, cuz that's what that kind of locomotive jest
does. If you was a hunnert years old like that you'd probably be
leaking like that too.
here to hear the steam locomotive.
(If you're crazy you ken jest
keep clicking there and it'll keep on playing over and over until
somebuddy comes and smacks you!)
If you ever decide to go
and ride these cool trains you ken get more information at
After that, the next day when we got up it was still cold outside, so
the old folks decided to jest head fer home, so we headed right fer Las
NewVada Nevader Nevada.
On the way there we stopped at a gas station, and there was a feller
who was driving one of those big trucks that makes a lot of cool smoke
when they take off from a light. Anyhow, that truck musta made the guy
reel mad over something, cuz he jumped down out of the place he sits to
drive that truck, and he had a big piece of pipe in his hand. Then he went
up and started beating all of the tires with that big piece of pipe. It
reely looked pretty silly the way that guy kept on hitting all of the
tires until he was all done hitting each one of them a couple of times,
then he got back into the truck and drove off. Needless to say, all of us
guys jest stayed out of his way! Somebuddy in the gas station told his kids that the guy was checking
his tires. Yeah, sure. I wonder if he checks his TV the same way when he
doesn’t like the programs?
On the other side of that gas station was a sign that said, “Watch
for Scorpions and Snakes,” so that was jest another reason not to get
out of the van, so that’s where we stayed, and watched fer donuts
On the way out of the town where that gas station was, we came across
this property fer sale. Be sure to tell the guy you got his number from me
if you decide to buy it, cuz then he’ll owe me 4 bucks fer sending you
to him. It even comes with that cool building, and there's already a
pole in back in case a feller decided to run in lektrik and a
Return to Home
Us guys always like going to Las Vegas, cuz them big hotels are jest
full of seckert passages inside the walls that are jest the right size fer
us guys to get around in and explore without nobuddy seeing us with all
those security cameras they have everywhere there.
We stayed at the Pirate Hotel, cuz the last time when we stayed at the
La Pinata Motel, Jim's new bicycle got stolt. And this time us guys got to see the pirates
fighting and blowing things up cuz they got into a reel mean fight about
something that only a pirate would understand.
Anyway, us guys found the little door to the seckert passage in the
wall and me and Sniffy set off to explore. It was reel easy to climb down
inside that little tunnel, cuz they have a bunch of wires in there and
they use little ladder things to hold those wires all together and keep
them from getting mixed up, so we jest climbed around all over the place.
One time we climbed up into a tunnel where we could hear a lot of
noise, and we wound up inside one of those slot machines that takes your
money and keeps it fer you. We could see out through a little window, and
a lady across from our machine kept losing her money and she was getting
That’s when Sniffy bumped into a little handle inside that machine
and it made a bunch of money fall out into the money tray. The lady
decided that must have been her money, cuz she wound up in front of our
slot machine before we even saw her move!
After about 5 minutes she had poured all the money back into the
machine again, so Sniffy pulled that little handle again, and she got
another pile of money that she put back into the machine again. We had fun
fer about a half an hour, and in the end she went away from that machine
mad and without any money.
Pretty soon a reel old geezer with a cane came over to our machine and
sat down to play. He put in a piece of money and pulled the handle and
nothing happened except the machine kept his money. After about 5 minutes
of the machine keeping his money, we decided that wasn’t fair, so Sniffy
pulled that little handle again, and all kinds of bells went off and
lights began flashing, and money poured out all over the floor. In his
excitement, the old geezer fell down on the floor and was having chest pains, so pretty soon there was a doctor giving him some special
medicine and he was jest fine in a couple of minutes. We heard somebuddy
tell him that he had won about a zillion dollars cuz 3 number 7's came up on
the slot machine. I don’t know if Sniffy really caused that to happen,
but that old geezer sure got rich, but we was afraid to ask him fer our 4
bucks fer helping.
He was a nice old geezer, so that’s okay with us.
We decided not to try messing with any more slot machines, cuz right
after we got out of that machine, one of them casino cops with a great big
gun came over with another guy and they opened up the front of the machine
and started looking around with a flashlight.
Us guys reely recommend this hotel, cuz they sure treated us reel good,
and that old geezer is reel happy now!
Since we was a little tired from watching for scorpions and snakes and
all the other exciting things that had happened that day, we jest decided
to head back to the room and relax in front of the TV, after stopping on
the way back to crawl inside one of those candy machines and help
ourselves to a candy bar that had fallen into the back of the machine. It
had dried out pretty bad, but we blew off the dust and brought it back to
the room where we shared it with the other guys.
The next morning while the old folks went to breakfast, we went back
into that tunnel in the wall and crawled around and ended up in the
extrasize room. They call it that cuz when those guys with the big
muscles go there and work some of those machines it adds extra size to
We also had some fun with one of those machines that you ken walk on
and the sidewalk keeps running so you ken go fer a run without going
outside. The sign on it near the floor called it a treadmill, I
think. Anyway, a couple of us guys was taking turns running on it
while somebuddy else took turns messing with the little radio knob that
makes it go reel fast. The lektric wire fell out of the wall plug,
and it was too tall fer any of us to reach, so we jest left, and anyhow, a
couple of them guys with the big muscles was coming, so we got back into
that tunnel and watched reel quiet.
The biggest big guy got onto that treadmill and turned on the switch,
but nothing happened, and he saw the plug was out, so the other big guy
plugged it in for him. That sidewalk belt thing took off about a
hunnert miles an hour and threw that big guy clear across the room and he
landed on the side of a rack thingy that held a lot of those lifting
weights that tough guys show off with, and they fell all over the floor
and rolled all around the room. That's when his towel that he used
to have around his neck had fallen off and got tangled up in the sidewalk
belt thing in the machine and it stopped it from running, and pretty soon
a bunch of sparks squirted out of something down near the floor and some
smoke started squirting out of the thing where the radio knob is.
That hotel should be more careful about their plug, so it wouldn't fall
out of the wall.
Heading for Home
In the morning we headed out of town and ended up in Grand Junction,
Colorado. That town is famous for being the only town around there, and we
found a reel good motel. They also have a great bike trail there, but it
was cold and dark when we got there, so we didn’t get to check it out
We had a bit of a problem at that motel, but it wasn't our fault.
There was a feller working on the plumbing in the bathroom in the room
across from our room, and he decided to go eat dinner, so he left the door
open and went to eat. Since the old folks was also at dinner, and we
was kinda bored on account of the fact that there was only news on the TV,
we went to check out that other room cuz it was different from the one we
was staying in.
That room had a funny bed that had a remote control hooked onto a wire,
so it doesn't get stolt, I guess. Anyhow, Sniffy and Dexter was
jumping up and down on the bed, and I pushed one of the buttons on that
remote control, and the bed went flat. I mean, I heard some hissing
and it jest settled down kinda like a flat tire. So then I pushed
the other button and it blew it up again. That was reel cool, so we
took turns jumping on the bed and making it go flat, then blowing it back
up again. That was the most fun we had since the last time we had
that much fun!
Wouldn't you jest know it, jest when we was getting tired and ready to
go back to our own room, the button on the remote control got stuck and it
started blowing up that bed, and it kept blowing it up, and everybuddy
slid off the edge and fell on the floor as it got bigger and bigger.
Pretty soon it was reel big, like one of them balls those people play with
on the ocean beach, and it jest kept on getting bigger and we all headed
for the door. Then we heard a loud explosion and that bed mattress
thing blew up and started flying around the room like when you let a
balloon loose. Except that a balloon never knocks the TV off onto
the floor, then knocks the chairs all around the room. And a balloon
never breaks the window and winds up out in the parking lot kinda hanging
on the radio antenna on one of those big, noisy pickup trucks with the
exter wheels on the back.
We went back to our room then, after stopping by the candy machine in
the hall, and finding a lost bag of M&M's behind it, and when the old
folks got back from dinner, they turned on the news, and we kinda watched
it without letting on, but nobuddy on the news said nothing about that
mattress thing hanging on that noisy pickup truck!
It's a good thing that we was getting tired anyhow, cuz at least we had
some great fun before the remote control went bad! I think that
motel should make sure they get a better remote the next time, then they
could avoid that kind of trubble.
We found out that there is a place there that sells “Lab Rats.”
Sniffy claims that
he was at one time going to be a lab rat, but he couldn’t do all the
dancing and roller skating the job requires. Fer those of you that don’t
know about lab rats, they are the little fellers that dance around and act
silly to keep people who go to the doctor’s lab from getting scared when
the lab guy pulls out his great big box of needles that he uses to give
shots to sick people. The main reason they give you shots is so that you
don’t keep coming back unless you’re reely sick.
The next morning we headed fer home, and got there about jest after