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Some Important  Laws of Florida:

Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.

A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.

If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.

It is illegal to skateboard without a license.

You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.

Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.

Doors of all public buildings must open outwards.

It is illegal to sell your children.

It is illegal to molest a Key Deer. If caught you will be fined or will have to go to jail.

It is against the city ordinance to hang your clothes outside on a clothesline.

The molestation of trash cans is banned.

Maintaining a car on your property which is no longer in use is prohibited.

Owning a flower pot with water in it that isn't capable of draining is considered a public nuisance.

Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor.

Chickens are considered a 'protected species'.

Citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10 dollars on their person.

It is illegal to roll a barrel on any street, fines go up according to the contents of the barrel.

If you hit a pedestrian you are fined $78.00.

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Sparky's Florida Trip Header, representative of things seen in Florida

Page 11
(By Sparky)

Miami, Florida

We arrived in Miami on May 8, 2003.  We was heading fer a old hotel that is world famous, at least around Miami it is.  A feller said we could jest walk in like we owned the place and hop on the elevator and go up to the roof and see all around the area, and fer free!

While we was heading there, Gloria took a couple of pitchers of big boats parked there in the water, and the camera battery died.  Jim had forgot to plug it into a special wire that he has fer jest such an occasion.  He don't have that different wire that jest plugs into the van, so he needed some reel lecktricity to charge up that battery so they could take pitchers from the roof of that famous hotel.

Well, Jim is reel resourceful, so he parked in front of a City Park, and him and the camera and the special wire thingy went off fer a walk.  When we caught up with him, he was standing in front of the ladies rest room with the wire thingy plugged into the lecktrik plugger that the water drinking machine was also plugged into, and he was holding the camera, like he was gonna take pitchers of everybuddy who went near them restrooms.

Pretty soon a city truck pulled up and a couple of people got out and went in to clean the restrooms.  They both checked Jim out, then got back into their truck and drove off.  Then another city truck pulled up and those people also checked him out.  Then a bunch of jest regular people walked past and everybuddy thought it was reel funny the way Jim was jest standing there, in front of that restroom holding his camera.

After about 20 minutes he decided the camera would have to wait till we got to the next motel if it wanted any more lecktric in its batteries, so we left to go find that hotel, named the Central Park, or Park Central, or something like that.

The old folks went there after we found it and found another place to park, and got up to the roof, but the only thing they could see was a lot of roofs below and lots of air conditioners and plumbing pipes, and stuff like that.  A long way away they could see tall buildings, but we could see them from the van, too.  At least it was free!

Sparky's Miami Picture Album
"I could have taken a lot more pitchers in Miami, but everybuddy knows what all is around there and what it looks like."--Sparky

Miami waterfront, showing lots of boats and bridges
Miami boats & bridges
Large Banyan Tree showing how it grows reel funny
Huge Banyan Tree in Miami
Cruise ship "Imagination" parked while the driver eats lunch at the bagel shop across the street
Cruise ship "Imagination"
Cool garden Flamingo in Miami
Garden with cool Flamingo

Miami Vice?

After all the excitement Gloria wanted to go and check out a park at the south end of Miami, so we headed down there.  There was about 8 or 7 cop cars all over the place in the parking lot, so Jim pulled into anotCop car like the ones we sawher part of the park to turn around, and those cop cars pulled in front of us, blocking the driveway.  Cops was running all around and getting in and out of the different cars, and all of them had on them jackets that keep bullets out, and helmets with glass face masks, and some of them had reel big rifle guns.

And there we were, jest sitting there hoping they didn't get mad at us fer something.  I know that if we still had the old Chevy Blazer, we could have jest drove across the grass and sidewalk and got out of there, but with our van we was jest stuck.

Pretty soon they got together a parade of 9 cop cars, each with 4 of them in it, and the cars slowly took off, with all the guys holding their doors open jest a little bit.  They all went around the corner, then down the next street, and as soon as that last car pulled out of the way, we got out of there, even though I kinda wanted to watch them shoot up the guy they was after.

We didn't get no pitchers of that with the camera cuz we was afraid they might have gotten mad at us about taking pitchers without a permit or license or something.Cool pitcher of Hollywood

 Hollywood, Florida 

When I heard we was entering Hollywood, I guess I thought it was the other Hollywood, not this one.

Well, this Hollywood has a reel cool beach walkway that you ken also ride bikes on, so that got put onto the list fer the next morning, early, before all the people with their dogs and strollers get up.

Diet Ice Cream!  Before we left that day we headed fer thisIce cream store that sells fat and sugar-free ice cream here ice cream store where Jim decided to try the fat and sugar-free ice cream advertised on the sign.  A cone cost $1.50 for that kind of ice cream, while the regular ice cream cone cost $3.50, so Jim ordered the fat and sugar-free cone.  Gloria ordered a regular cone and went and sat down in front of the store where she could watch the ocean or whatever they called it around there.Reel good non-diet ice cream cone

Jim showed up with a cone that was empty except for a little dust in the bottom, and said the lady told him that was all that was left when you leave out the sugar and fat.  Then Jim decided to jest pay the other 2 bucks and get a reel good chocolate chip cone with the regular ice cream, and don't worry about the calories.  It sure was good, 'cept we din't get no chocolate chip cookies to go with it.

Sparky's Hollywood, Florida Picture Album
Beach front showing stores and bike path
Hollywood Beach bike trail
More stores along the beachfront
More of the bike path
Hollywood Beach Theater, right next to the parking lot where we parked the van
Hollywood Beach Theater
Weird tricycle that you steer by leaning
Weird beach tricycle

The next morning we was back bright and early, but after we got some breakfast, and parked in front of the Hollywood Beach Theater, so even us guys could watch the activities without getting out of the van.  The old folks had a reel good bike ride and when they got back we blasted off and headed north.  To find out about all the stuff we missed, click here: 

Hollywood, Florida Website Sign in front of Delray Beach

Delray Beach  There wasn't much at Delray Beach, except another beach and some hot sand.  It wasn't very busy that day, and there was a sign warning of the presence of "Sea Lice," which nobuddy knows what they are, but somebuddy thinks they are tiny jellyfish that sting you reel bad if you're swimming and they brush up against them.  Just one more reason why us guys don't like the water.

Lifeguard tower where the lifeguard lives when the beach is open
Delray Beach Lifeguard tower
Del Rey Beach
Delray Beach slow day
Sign announcing the presence of Sea Lice
Sign announcing Sea Lice
Rescue boat with more holes in it than the one that sank
Delray Beach rescue boat

We also saw a rescue boat parked behind the beach offices across the street.  As you ken see by the pitcher, it has more holes in it than most boats that sank.  Maybe if you have trubble out in the water, you should think about calling somebuddy else.

After that we headed off to Orlando, cuz the old folks found another place to take a bike ride.

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IS HERE!
THEY GOT US!!

SCORE CARD
as of May 4, 2003:
Mosquitoes, 15 bites
Old folks, 11 mosquitoes

As of May 5, 2003,
Mosquitoes, 17 bites
Old folks, 15 mosquitoes

As of May 6, 2003,
Mosquitoes, 17 bites
Old folks, 18 mosquitoes
We're Ahead!

As of May 8, 2003,
Mosquitoes, 17 bites
Old folks, 21 mosquitoes
We're Still Ahead!

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Copyright (C) 2004 by James J. Meagher