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A little further along on our trip we stopped
probably in Tucson Arizona so the old folks could take a bike ride along
some little river. Anyway, Sniffy got out of the car to watch for ice on
bridge like the sign says. He watched for a long time and there was just
no ice until two kids came walking by and dumped the ice out of their
soda cups right in the middle of the bridge.
It would have probably been easier to jest put
a sign telling them to not throw no ice on the bridge, but these kids
din't look too literate so they probably din't no how to reed anyhow.
After seeing the ice on the bridge Sniffy din't know what to do about
it, so he jest did like the sign said and watched the ice on the bridge.
Pretty soon some guy came running along
carrying a funny looking torch wi th
a big fire coming out the top. Besides the torch looking funny, so did
he. When he came racing across the bridge he slipped on the ice cubes
and fell down and his torch went into the river and the fire went out.
Pretty soon a couple of other guys dressed up
kinda funny came along in a funny looking motor scooter like the old
geezers ride in on those lawns where they play golf. They saw that the
torch had fell into the river and the fire had gone out and they got
reel upset cuz the guy musta been taking the torch somewhere to light
somebody's fireplace or Bar-B-Que or something. The guy that was running
was still on the bridge, with a bloody nose, and the two other guys got
all excited about that torch and went into the river and got it out.
Then they kept trying to light the fire again with a cigarette lighter.
The olde r guy was yelling about how that was a
important fire cuz somebuddy had brought it all the way from Grease,
that's some country across the ocean. The whole thing din't make much
sense, cuz why would you bring a grease fire from across the ocean, when
all along we have plenty of grease fires already here in restaurant
kitchens all over the place. In fact, we heard that jest in New York
City they have several thousand grease fires and lightning fires every
year that burn down all kinds of old buildings.
Anyhow, the younger guy sucked some gas out of
the motorcycle thing and they put it into the torch and lit it up again
and the running guy with the bloody nose finally got back up again and
they gave him the torch and he took off running so he wouldn't be late.
The two old guys on the motorcycle thing then
came over and told Sniffy that he didn't see nothing. He told him that
he did see something, and he couldn't wait to tell his brothers in the
car. Then the old guy asked him how much money it would take for him to
forget what he saw and not to tell anybuddy. Sniffy said "two
bucks" would probably work out jest right. The guy gave him a
nickel and they took off.
The reason that Sniffy is telling this story
now is cuz he figgered out that the nickel jest ran out a couple of days
ago.
So if you see a funny looking guy in a swimming
suit running along carrying a torch, follow him until he falls and his
torch goes out, then tell him you'll be quiet about him gonna start a
grease fire somewhere for two bucks, and get your money right away!!!
Addendum
Since this article was wrote, we heard on the
news that some nother guy is gonna get a Lympic torch lit on fire in a
country called "Greece" then he's gonna come to America again
with the same torch on fire cuz it's important that the same fire don't
go out or get lit with a match or something. The original fire came out
of some volcano back when they had dragons, I think.
I was also thinking that the guy will get
pretty tired standing in line at the airport, wearing his swimming suit
and holding that smoky torch. Then when he gets into the airplane, I
guess he'll have to sit in the smoking section and make sure the fire
don't set the airplane on fire.
The whole thing sounds kinda silly to me. It
would jest be a lot easier to take some sticks from some famous place
and send them by UPS to wherever those guys always run to. Then somebody
could jest rub them sticks together and make a brand new fire and if it
came from some hysterical sticks it would still be reel cool, I guess.
That way nobody would have to run along carrying a torch and looking
silly. The reason the guy has to run along is cuz they can't get no
license to carry no burning, smoky torch on buses or trains, and if the
guy tries to hitchhike like one of them did, nobody will probably be
likely to stop and offer him a ride, not even for two bucks!!
I jest had a nother idea....Maybe they could
get Superman to jest go to Greece and get it and take it to wherever it
needs to go. That way it could get done quick and it would save a lot of
brain damage and money.
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