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to see Sparky's Newest Invention:
"Banana Holder"
 
which was added on
February 5th, 2006

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Gorgeous header for Sparky's Travels Page

The Refried Bean FactoryA refried Bean Factory we saw in Arizona

A year or so ago when we went on vacation a reel cool thing we saw was this refried bean factory in Arizona. We heard that this factory in the pitcher refries beans for all the Mexican Restaurants west of the Pecos River. They sure must make some great beans, cuz they sure was busy making a awful lot of smoke, like they mighta burned some of them. Jim said it was really a lectric factory to make lectric so folks can fry their own beans.
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Sniffy Watching for ice on the bridge, like the sign says.The Lympic Runner

A little further along on our trip we stopped probably in Tucson Arizona so the old folks could take a bike ride along some little river. Anyway, Sniffy got out of the car to watch for ice on bridge like the sign says. He watched for a long time and there was just no ice until two kids came walking by and dumped the ice out of their soda cups right in the middle of the bridge.

It would have probably been easier to jest put a sign telling them to not throw no ice on the bridge, but these kids din't look too literate so they probably din't no how to reed anyhow. After seeing the ice on the bridge Sniffy din't know what to do about it, so he jest did like the sign said and watched the ice on the bridge.

Pretty soon some guy came running along carrying a funny looking torch wiLympical Runner with his gas torch.th a big fire coming out the top. Besides the torch looking funny, so did he. When he came racing across the bridge he slipped on the ice cubes and fell down and his torch went into the river and the fire went out.

Pretty soon a couple of other guys dressed up kinda funny came along in a funny looking motor scooter like the old geezers ride in on those lawns where they play golf. They saw that the torch had fell into the river and the fire had gone out and they got reel upset cuz the guy musta been taking the torch somewhere to light somebody's fireplace or Bar-B-Que or something. The guy that was running was still on the bridge, with a bloody nose, and the two other guys got all excited about that torch and went into the river and got it out. Then they kept trying to light the fire again with a cigarette lighter.

The oldeLympic Runner that's reely runningr guy was yelling about how that was a important fire cuz somebuddy had brought it all the way from Grease, that's some country across the ocean. The whole thing din't make much sense, cuz why would you bring a grease fire from across the ocean, when all along we have plenty of grease fires already here in restaurant kitchens all over the place. In fact, we heard that jest in New York City they have several thousand grease fires and lightning fires every year that burn down all kinds of old buildings.

Anyhow, the younger guy sucked some gas out of the motorcycle thing and they put it into the torch and lit it up again and the running guy with the bloody nose finally got back up again and they gave him the torch and he took off running so he wouldn't be late.

The two old guys on the motorcycle thing then came over and told Sniffy that he didn't see nothing. He told him that he did see something, and he couldn't wait to tell his brothers in the car. Then the old guy asked him how much money it would take for him to forget what he saw and not to tell anybuddy. Sniffy said "two bucks" would probably work out jest right. The guy gave him a nickel and they took off.

The reason that Sniffy is telling this story now is cuz he figgered out that the nickel jest ran out a couple of days ago.

So if you see a funny looking guy in a swimming suit running along carrying a torch, follow him until he falls and his torch goes out, then tell him you'll be quiet about him gonna start a grease fire somewhere for two bucks, and get your money right away!!!

Addendum

Since this article was wrote, we heard on the news that some nother guy is gonna get a Lympic torch lit on fire in a country called "Greece" then he's gonna come to America again with the same torch on fire cuz it's important that the same fire don't go out or get lit with a match or something. The original fire came out of some volcano back when they had dragons, I think.

I was also thinking that the guy will get pretty tired standing in line at the airport, wearing his swimming suit and holding that smoky torch. Then when he gets into the airplane, I guess he'll have to sit in the smoking section and make sure the fire don't set the airplane on fire.

The whole thing sounds kinda silly to me. It would jest be a lot easier to take some sticks from some famous place and send them by UPS to wherever those guys always run to. Then somebody could jest rub them sticks together and make a brand new fire and if it came from some hysterical sticks it would still be reel cool, I guess. That way nobody would have to run along carrying a torch and looking silly. The reason the guy has to run along is cuz they can't get no license to carry no burning, smoky torch on buses or trains, and if the guy tries to hitchhike like one of them did, nobody will probably be likely to stop and offer him a ride, not even for two bucks!!

I jest had a nother idea....Maybe they could get Superman to jest go to Greece and get it and take it to wherever it needs to go. That way it could get done quick and it would save a lot of brain damage and money.

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Here's How We Locate Reel Good Bike Trails

You can click on the following website link for some reel cool trail listings that aren't reel steep like climbing up a mountain:  http://www.railtrails.org/ 

They list a bunch of bike trails that are put on the roadbeds of abandoned railroad lines.  I think they take out the tracks first, cuz if you try to ride your bike on the tracks you'll keep falling off and if you try to ride on the ties between the tracks it will make for a reel bumpy ride.  Also, if the tracks are still there and somebuddy decides to take a train for a ride and goes on those tracks, you might get run over by a fast train, or at least you'll get scared when the train driver blows the horn. 
Click here to hear what that train might sound like.

Most of the time when you get to a strange town and ask for directions to a local bike trail, they jest tell you, "It's down yonder, everybody knows where, so there's no map." This time we found out that there reely was a set of struktions, and they sent us a copy. We decided not to go there cuz it sounded too complicated.Picture of a guy trying to find the bike trail

Directions to Get to the
Northwind Bike Trail

Drive South on the highway that goes past the old racetrack just south of Maple Grove to 30-40 miles past where the train used to stop for water and coal, turn right on the next road. Go to approximately 6-1/2 miles before the end of the road and turn left. When you pass the rusty Ford Model A fender, keep going until you come to where the snow plows used to turn around, then keep going, following whichever fork in the road looks most used (3 rights and 7 lefts), turn right 2.3 miles before you come to the river and continue on until you come to a crooked fence post. Turn left at the next road, open the barbed wire gate and go through the ford in the river (close the gate behind you). If you get stuck thereís some rocks to throw in the mud to get you out.

If somebody is already stuck, back up the hill and go back to the second road after you pass the crooked fence post (from the other direction this time), turn right and go until you come to the abandoned Brady Ranch, (thereís no sign, but you can recognize it by the 7 junk cars in the front yard), drive through the back yard and down into the river ford. Go real fast, 25-35 mph, so you donít get stuck, because thereís no rocks there to get you out. At the top of the hill turn right and go along on the river bank until you get to where you can see the other guy stuck in the river ford where you first turned around. (Donít worry, those small saplings and brush wonít hurt your vehicle, theyíll just knock off a lot of the grease underneath). Stop and tell the guy that youíll send help, then turn left onto the road again.

When you get to where the Ponderosa Water Company was going to dig their ditch in 1873, keep going to the third right turn before the dead-end and take the next road right. When you get to where the pavement starts, townís just over the hill. The bike trail is not in town, though, so stop and ask for directions, so you wonít take a chance of getting lost.
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