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We left Denver in early July headed for New York and a lot of other places in that part of the country. It wasn’t looking very good when we left, cuz some kind of flood wiped out part of Interstate 80 in New Braska, so we had to leave through Kansas on Interstate 70.

We got to Hays, Kansas the first night, without nothing much happening, except in the morning us guys got up real early and went downstairs to have some of the free breakfast the motel gives its guests.  Wouldn’t you jest know it, there was nobuddy around so I climbed up on the table and pulled on the handle on the coffee machine and it got stuck and it wouldn’t turn off, so I jest grabbed a donut and we scooted out of there reel fast as the coffee poured all over the table and ran onto the floor. That donut was reel good, but it would have been a lot better with some coffee to dip it into.

The next night we got to Alton, Illinois, and that time we got breakfast without nothing happening, until some guy slipped on the banana skin that someone must have forgot to throw into the trash, but none of us remembers not throwing it into the trash, so it probably wasn’t one of us.

After the old folks ate breakfast they went for a bike ride along the Mississippi River and they had a good time.  I'd put in a picture of the bike trail along the river, but they pretty much all look alikeFunny looking Piasa Bird painted on a mountain., so you ken jest imagine a picture of a bike trail along the side of a river and that's what it looked like. Except in the parking lot next to the car somebuddy had painted a picture of a funny looking bird, so this here's a picture of that.  You ken click on it to make it bigger and scarier.  They called it a "Piasa Bird," but I think they mean a "Pizza Bird," cuz it looked like something they might chop up and put on a deluxe pizza.

To find out more about that Piasa Bird, you ken jest click your mouse thingy below:

All about the Piasa Bird


Next we went to Chicago for a couple of days and the old folks went for another bike ride with a friend named Richard, who showed them where to ride on the side of the lake so they wouldn’t fall in, I guess.  We parked at the Lincoln Park Zoo and then they rode south to jest past McCormick Place, and by then everybuddy was getting hungry, so they went back and ate lunch at Bubba Gump's Restaurant on the Navy Pier.

The only thing us guys could find to eat was some cat food that the guy in the zoo was getting ready to give to the lions and tigers, so we jest went hungry instead, cuz there's no way us guys will ever eat any kind of cat food!  If you need more information about that bike trail, you ken jest click on either of the websites below:

Chicago Lakefront Bike Trail & Information

More Chicago Bike Trails 

Niagara Falls, New York

We went to a lot of other places, pretty much without incident, until we got to Niagara Falls, New York.  It seemed like we couldn’t do anything right there, I guess cuz everything is so old and all.  We found this cool website, and you ken check out Niagara Falls without getting wet by clicking here to see how wet and cold that waterfall is:

Niagara Falls Website and Webcam

Our adventure started out when we found a full size plastic cat that we was messing around with, pertending it was reel and in the end it fell into the Niagara River and floated down toward the falls.  Some “cat people” saw it and started screaming that the poor kitty was gonna drown or something like that.

We was laughing reel hard and they had called a helicopter and rescue squad to save the thing.  When they finally rescued it and found out it was jest plastic, they was reel mad, but it jest wasn’t our fault!

While the search was going on Leroy found a funny thing that looked like a whistle, but it din’t make no noise, but every time one of us blew into it all kinds of reel dogs started running around and barking, so, of course, they got blamed for the cat thing.

The next morning the old folks went for a bus ride that went into Canada, and none of us wanted to go in case we would get arrested for something that wasn’t our fault and we wouldn’t be able to get out of jail and come home.  Anyway, when we went down fer breakfast after most of the breakfast crowd had left, I decided to fix the big screen TV cuz it looked reel bad, so I crawled in the back where they left a hole open for jest such a purpose.

Inside I found 3 flashlight looking things that shined on a mirror and made the picture show up on the screen.  I could see right away that there was some dirt on those flashlights, so I went back out and got a napkin and put some orange juice on it cuz that’s all I could find easily in a cup on the floor next to the trash can, and went back in and cleaned all three of those flashlights.

(Note: For those of you who don't know anything about big screen TV's, some of them have 3 light guns that shoot out the picture, often onto a mirror. One each of Red, Green and Blue, and they must be carefully aligned so the picture isn't all whacked out and funny looking.  That's what I tried to fix, by cleaning the mirror and the 3 light guns, but it must have been worn out cuz that's what happens when they're worn out).

They were hard to reach, so I jest unscrewed one of those screws that look like mouse ears and pulled them out of the little holder and cleaned them up reel good.  Then I forgot which one went where, so I jest guessed and put them back.  Then the picture looked reel funny and the gTV Picture after Sparky fixed it.uys had 3 ears and noses and all different colors, and the red sky was on the left while the blue sky was on the bottom and the other color din’t have no sky, but at least the picture was nice and bright instead of faded like it was when I started.

I turned around each of the flashlight things until all the skies were at the top, and it really looked pretty good except that all the guys had noses and ears that were funny colors, and I decided that we probably wouldn’t get no money fer fixing it any more, and since it was better than it was when I first started, I decided to jest leave it alone.

After we finished breakfast we went out exploring, but there was a lot of people all over the place so we decided to jest go back to the motel room and watch TV.

After dinner Sniffy, Leroy and I went out again to explore.  We saw a big balloon that was hooked onto a thick wire string that was fastened to a lektrik motor thing that unrolled it and let the balloon go up into the sky with a bunch of people riding in it so they could see the Niagara Falls from about a mile up in the sky.  After a certain amount of time the lektrik thing pulled the balloon string down again and everybuddy got out.

The balloon guy finally turned out the lights and left for the night, so I went to check it out and see if us guys could go fer a ride.  I pushed one of the buttons hidden underneath where only the balloon guy knew about it, and the lektrik thing started unrolling the string and the balloon quickly went up in the air.  I pushed the button again but it only went faster, so I tried to find another switch, but there wasn’t none, so we jest got out of there reel fast. Troublesome balloon over Niagara Falls.

The wind was blowing and it took the balloon over the river into Canada, where somebuddy with a big rifle gun shot at it and let all the air out and it floated down to the ground and some bums got it loose from the string and we found out the next day they turned it into a tent next to the river.  Anyway, the lektrik thing unwound all the string and kept turning and the string started winding up the other way and the end that was hooked up to the balloon was in the river where it got tangled up with a bunch of little rowboats that were all tied together in the river and it pulled them out of the water like a string of Christmas Tree lights and drug them across the parking lot and up onto the balloon platform where the string finally got tangled up and made the lektrik thingy squirt out a lot of sparks and it stopped pulling any more boats out of the river.  I sure wish that guy had left a button to turn off the lektrik thing, cuz then his balloon wouldn’t have gotten messed up cuz I would have pushed that button and saved him a lot of trubble.  

What REALLY Happened in Niagara Falls
We had a great time sightseeing.  We took a bus tour into Canada and got a boat ride up to the falls and got a bit wet.  The picture of the balloon was taken from a tall tower that we went up in, and the view was spectacular.

Hard Rock Café

The old folks went to the Hard Rock Café in Niagara Falls, New York fer dinner one night, and me and Leroy decided to tag along to see if we could get a couple of fries for dinner.  The music was so loud that we couldn’t hardly hear each other or even think straight, cuz us guys have such sensitive ears, so during our sneaking around, we saw the radio that was making the loud music, and it was hooked up to a computer, so right away I knew I could do something about that loud music.

It din’t work like our computer, so I had to jest speriment by pushing buttons, and pretty soon it was even louder, and playing some old people music.  Some guy came in and changed it back to the kid music again, and he left.  I seen him do something with that thing they call a mouse, but it din’t have no string on it like ours does, so after he left we tried to make the music get quiet again, but that mouse din’t seem to work for me.  I turned it over and there was this little door, so I pushed on a little arrow, and the door popped open and a battery fell out and went into a air conditioner hole in the floor, and the little red light in the mouse went off, so we jest put that mouse back. Then I sperimented with some more of the computer buttons again and got some polka music and it was playing reel loud, and then we got out of there cuz we heard the guy coming back.

On the way out se could see some of the old people in there was up and dancing to that music, and the kids was covering their ears and screaming. I think they would be better off playing elevator music, cuz their fries and burgers was reel good, ‘cept we din’t like the music.

What REALLY Happened at the Hard Rock Cafe
We had a great meal, and the music was definitely a bit loud.  

Alexandria Bay, New York

We got to Alexandria Bay, New York sometime around the time we could check into our motel, so that's what we did.  Then we watched TV, but there wasn't very many channels on, so us guys jest took a nap while the old folks went fer a walk to check out that town.  They got back in time to jest turn right around again and go to get something fer dinner.  Our motel was jest a couple of blocks from the fact, it was a couple of blocks from everything, so they jest walked everywhere.

After dinner they came out of the restaurant and it was raining reel bad, so they had to buy a second umbrella cuz they only jest had one and they quickly got tired of sharing cuz that way they both got half wet.

The next day they decided to take a boat ride to go and check out the Thousand Islands of New York, so that's what they did.  After they got tired of counting all those islands, they took a different boat ride to check out a place called "Boldt Castle," and since Sniffy got to go along and check it out too, we heard from him that it was reel cool, and you ken jest click your mouse thingy below to see more about it.The bridge that takes you into Canada if you're not reel careful.

Boldt Castle Information 

More Boldt Castle Information 

Even More Boldt Castle Information 

Us guys don't like Thousand Island Salad Dressing, cuz we like Ranch Dressing better, but Sniffy found out that Thousand Island Dressing was invented around the Thousand Island area of New York cuz some rich guy jumped into his big boat to go to his castle and his cook forgot to bring along the salad dressing, so when it was time fer some salad, the cook invented a concoction that he made out of ketchup and salt and pepper, some pickles, smooshed-up bananas and coffee, but that din't work fer salad dressing, so by experimenting a whole bunch he pretty soon invented Thousand Island Dressing by mixing whatever ingredients he finally decided to wind up with.

Another Seckert Town

There was this situation we saw in another town, but I am not supposed to tell the name of the town cuz the cops there might get mad at me. Anyhow, a car that must have been going reel fast wound up crashing into the front door of a well known hamburger place that has golden arches in front, or else it was some guy trying to make his own drive through entrance...I don’t know which.  The cops started to put some of that yellow tape that says, “Crime Scene, Do Not Enter,” but they ran out of that yellow tape, so one of them called their office to have somebuddy bring out some more so they could keep the crowds away.  The night before they had had several other crime scenes iPicture of the kind of donuts that got stolt.n that town...a donut store burglary where somebuddy broke into a donut store and cleaned out all the leftover donuts, and another where some vandals had painted graffiti all over a trash dumpster in the alley behind the town hardware store.  With all this crime the town ran completely out of yellow crime scene tape.

They called around to some other towns, but it would have taken a day or two to get somebuddy to be able to get the tape to the crime scene, so when the boss of the town showed up, he personally sent his helper out to find some tape to help restore order to the parking lot.

The guy found some pink tape, and it said, “Happy Birthday, Sally,” so that’s what they ended up using, and it really looked cool where they wrapped it around the bushes.

There was a lot of mad people trying to get there for lunch.  Since the only entrance still had a car parked halfway into the door, and the local TV station was waiting for some more film to come in the Brown Truck, and they couldn’t take no pictures until it got there, everything ground to a halt, except the fingerprint guys was having a reel good time checking everything for fingerprints.  I don’t know what they needed the fingerprints for, cuz they already found the driver asleep in the car.

Anyhow, the only way to order lunch was to either walk up and knock on the back door or try to lean over the pink happy birthday tape, so it was a reel mess for most of the day.  We watched TV to see it it made the news, but I guess they never got their new film in time, before the car driver woke up and drove somewhere else fer dinner.  I don’t think he ever did get his lunch, though.

Another cool thing we did was the old folks ate dinner in a floating restaurant that was made out of an old barge and it floated in the lake and rocked around every time a boat went by.  They put the kitchen in the basement, which was lower than the water level in the river, while everybuddy ate upstairs where they could look out and see the boats going by.  Anyhow, I don’t know what happened, but me and Sniffy was investigating that basement kitchen, and there was this string hanging down off of a red handle, and I gave it a yank to see what it did, and all of a sudden water started squirting in through a big faucet.  I couldn’t see no way to push it back the other way without getting wet, so we both jest scooted out of there before somebuddy might have caught us.

We ran back to the van and got back inside about the time the old folks was getting back from dinner, and we noticed that the restaurant was starting to sink into the lake a little bit.  I don’t know what was wrong with those people fer not putting a better handle on that faucet so I coulda turned it back off again.

The next day when we were going down that road on the way out of town, we saw that there was a sign in front by the entrance that said it was closed because of a flood.  

What REALLY Happened in Rochester, New York
We left our motel heading to Spencerport, New York, to ride along the bike trail on the Erie Canal.  On the way we saw that a car had crashed into a McDonald's, and the main entrance was still closed some hours later when we passed by on the way back.  We had a great ride along the canal, and saved hundreds of more miles of it for some future date.  The floating restaurant fed us a great meal and it's still there.  And it was REALLY in Alexander Bay, New York.

Another time we went to a place in Quechee, Vermont, and stopped at the Quechee Gorge Village, which included a big gift shop next to the "world famous" Quechee Gorge Bridge that nobuddy that didn’t live there ever heard of before.  Around the parking lot they had a track and a little train ran on it to take kids and other people fer a ride if they din’t want to do no shopping or look at that famous Quechee Bridge.  Since us guys like trains, Leroy and I got out of the van and wandered around, being careful to hide in the bushes so nobuddy would give us any trubble.

On the other end of the parking lot they had a switch in the track and there was a spare locomotive sitting there, so, of course, we jest had to check it out.  It had a big fire running in the little fireplace inside it, and there was lots of coal jest sitting there, so we opened the door on the fireplace and threw in some coal, jest like throwing rocks, and we was having fun seeing who could throw a piece the farthest to the back of the fireplace.  Pretty soon the fire was really roaring and the fireplace was pretty full, and there was a whole bunch of black smoke pouring out of that little locomotive, and it looked reel cool, jest like one of those big trains in the movies, so I shut the fireplace door and jumped up on the seat where the driver sits, and we was pertending to drive the train, and I pulled a big black handle and the train started to take off, so I tried to push the handle back, but it was stuck, so we jumped off before something might have happent to one of us.

That little locomotive sure looked cool racing down the track, pouring out thick black smoke and sparks.  I wished we could have blown the whistle, but pretty soon everybuddy else was looking at the smoke and the guy driving the other train quickly stopped it and got out and turned another track switch so the speeding locomotive wouldn’t hit his train.  It ran round and round fer about fifteen minutes before it ran out of smoke and slowed down slow enough so the other train driver could catch up with it and push in that stuck handle, but he couldn’t push it in either, so he did something and a bunch of fire fell out onto the tracks and the locomotive finally came to a stop, but the fire burned up all the track ties where the fire fell out, so the other train couldn’t run no more until they got those ties replaced.  Too bad that handle was stuck, or else I could have pushed it back in and they could have avoided a lot of trubble!

For more information about the bridge and store, click below:

Quechee Gorge Information 

What REALLY Happened
The little train took some people for a nice, slow ride around the perimeter of the parking lot while we checked out the "world famous" Quechee Bridge, then the nearby gift shop.  The extra locomotive was sitting on a track siding to help attract the attention of motorists who were driving past.  Neither locomotive ran on coal, both used propane, and did run on steam.

Three-Way Light Bulbs

One of the motels we stayed in had a special light on the table, and it had 3 speeds that you could make it go.  The first speed was called “Low,” and was pretty dim. The second speed was called “Medium,” and was a little brighter.  Then the third speed was called “High,” and was pretty bright.  We know what they were called cuz I found a sheet of struktions in the drawer that told about that special lamp.

The first speed is really the second speed, cuz the first speed is really “Off.”  The second speed is really the third speed for the same reason.  The third speed is really only second and third mixed together to make fourth gear.

I don’t know why they always have to make everything so complicated, but that’s how they work, jest so you’ll all know if a argument ever breaks out between you and your friends, like it did with us.  

I Never Thought 3-Way Bulbs Were So Complicated.

Ferry Boat Problems

We was riding in one of those ferry boats that take cars and people that don’t have no car across a little ocean that goes between Port Kent, New York and Burlington, Vermont, I think, and me and Dexter Photo of Sparky on duty while riding on the ferry boat. was roaming around to check out what was down in the basement.

We found two giant engines like they put in buses, cuz I remember seeing a old bus broke down one time and the door was open and I could see the engine through the smoke and flames, and it looked jest like the engines in that ferry boat, except the ones in the ferry boat was a lot louder on account of the fact that they were still running and the one in the bus wasn’t.

Anyhow, everything in that boat basement looked pretty old and dirty and rusty, so we had to be careful where we walked.  We found some bottle caps off of pop bottles and stuck them on the ends of our feet, like little boots, and then we could go anywhere without getting dirty feet.

There was a little faucet that had a sign over it that said, “Drinking Water,” so I turned it open a little bit, and after the rust finished coming out, that water tasted pretty good, specially since it was so hot down in that boat basement.  I did remember to turn off that faucet when we was through getting a drink.

Then there was a faucet that said, “Fuel Valve,” so I turned it a little, but it wouldn’t open any more, so I jest turned it in the other way, and pretty soon one of those big engines started to make a funny noise like it had a reel bad cough, so I turned that faucet back the other way and it fixed it right up again.

The next faucet said, “Engine Oil Drain,” so I turned the handle a little bit, and some black, smelly oil ran out of the bottom of the engine all over the floor and ran down into a drain that must have been put there fer jest such a reason.  The faucet handle got stuck fer a minute, then both Dexter and I pulled reel hard on it and turned it back off again.

There was this nother faucet that said, “Fill Engine Oil,” so I decided to turn it on a little bit to put some new oil into that engine so it would still be full.  There was a glass tube that had dirty oil in it and partway up it had a mark that said, “Full,” and the dirty oil was down quite a bit from that mark, so we watched as the new oil slowly filled it back up again, and the engine even sounded better to us, so I went to turn off that faucet with the new oil, but the handle had fallen off and rolled down that drain in the floor, so there was no way to turn it off again, so we figgered that the engine would jest get a little extra oil, kinda like extra chocolate chip cookies to us, I guess, so we got out of there and went back and got into the van.

Pretty soon the ferry boat started squirting a lot of thick black smoke out of the chimney as it pulled into the boat parking lot where we could drive off. Then the engine started making a lot of reely loud noises and the boat started shaking reel bad like a earthquake or something, and there was guys running around and going crazy, but we made it to the parking lot okay and they tied the boat up to some logs with a big rope. Picture of Dexter.

As we drove up the hill away from the boat, it was blowing out big chunks of black goo onto the boat driver guys, and it wasn’t looking too good that the cars waiting on that side was going to get to go to the other side.

We figgered out that that boat engine got too much oil and it made it sick, jest like when one of us gets into the cinnamon rolls and chocolate milk.  You’d think that they would make a boat heavier duty than that.  Oh, yeah, the pitcher on the right is one of Dexter, my newest brother that has been living with us fer a couple of months, cuz he got fired from a job he used to have with some mattress factory or something.Hatchet and life saver on ferry boat.

This other interesting pitcher on the right is one I took to show the safety equipment on that ferry boat. You ken click on it to make it bigger if you want.  Anyway, if somebuddy falls overboard, they throw you that life saver, but it's not the kind of life saver we all know about. It's not made out of candy like the real ones, and it tasted reel yukky.  That hatchet axe hanging up there next to the life saver is so in case that boat hits an iceberg or bangs into another boat, and starts to sink, they can chop up some of the cars and throw them overboard to slow down the sinking process.

In the old days with the boats that burned wood or coal they used that hatchet axe to chop up the boat and use it for fuel, and we heard that some boats got home with jest the bottom still there, cuz they used up all the whole top of the boat for burning in the fireplace to make steam so the special steam engine would continue to turn the big paddle wheel.

What REALLY Happened on the Ferry Boat
We had a really nice ferry ride and got to Burlington, Vermont, in time for lunch, and the boat reloaded and took off back to the other side without incident.

Runaway Train Car

The old folks went for a bike ride along some another famous bike trail in Burlington, Runaway train car that wasn't Sparky's fault.Vermont, so us guys, specifically Leroy and I got out of the van to see what there was to do around there.  After roaming around fer quite a while, we found an abandoned train of about 8 or 7 of those train cars jest like the one in the pitcher at right.  There was weeds growing all around, so the train was surely abandoned. (Be sure to click on the pitcher to see a bigger pitcher of it, cuz this pitcher is kinda small fer big people to see).

Anyhow, we got to pulling on all of the funny looking levers and handles, and they were reely rusty, jest like everything that has anything to do with a railroad.  That's when I noticed that there was a reel good screwdriver stuck under one of the wheels on that last train car, so I wiggled it a little bit and it came out of between the train wheel and the track. I also noticed that the last car was unhooked from the rest of the train of cars, so wouldn't you jest know it, that car took off down the track, and went off the end of the track, then took off through the weeds and wound up crashing through the fence.

We scooted right away and went back to the van before somebuddy might come along and try to blame us fer the trubble.  It wasn't our fault that nobuddy told us not to pull out that screwdriver, and anyhow, the train car shoulda been hooked up to the rest of that train of cars.  We found out later that the old folks took a pitcher of that train car when they was coming back from their bike ride.  It's a reel good thing that nobuddy never cut none of them weeds, or that train car might have took off down the bike trail instead of getting tangled up like it did.
What REALLY Happened in Burlington, Vermont
We saw the crashed train car and took a picture of it on the way back from our bike ride.  We don't know who set it loose or how long it had been there.

To learn more about Vermont, click below:

Vermont Information 

We went to the Vermont Teddy Bear Factory, but none of us guys wanted to go inside on account of the fact that we all threw out our receipts from the teddy bear stores we was bought out of, and it might look like we was escaping or something.  You ken click below for more information, but a lot of them teddy bears and stuffed animals inside looked pretty stuck up!

Vermont Teddy Bear Factory Website 

We also went to a reel cool place called the American Precision Museum, in Windsor, Vermont.  It is a museum of old machine tools like lathes, milling machines, and lots of other reel old machines that look reely dangerous, so none of us guys messed around with anything, so you ken click below for more information:

American Precision Museum Website 

And we also went to Vermont Marble where we saw a reel good display of all kinds of marble products that they make there, and you ken click below for more information:

Vermont Marble Website 

Then we also went to a granite quarry named the Rock of Ages Granite Quarry.  We got to see some guys in the factory cutting and polishing and doing all sorts of things to big pieces of granite, and it looked pretty messy and dangerous, so none of us guys went to the trouble of checking things out any closer than watching from a catwalk way up high where we could see everything going on, and it was reel cool except for the name "Catwalk."  I think "Dogwalk" would have sounded better!  You ken click below for more information, and you ken also search the Yahoo thing or wherever you normally look fer things, and look under "Vermont marble or quarries," and you'll find all sorts of interesting things there.

Rock of Ages Granite Quarry Website 

Bellows Falls, Vermont Train Ride

This is a very important town if you happen to live there.  Otherwise, I guess it's jBellows Falls, Vermont Train Station Just Before the Rush.est a town where you ken go to get a ride on "The Green Mountain Flyer," which is an old train that the old folks and Sniffy went fer a ride on.  On the right is a pitcher of the train station jest before the rush of people getting on the train.

That train goes to a town named Chester, which is about 8 miles away.  When they got to Chester they found out that that's where they have a Nutrena feed store, a snack bar that was closed indefinitely and a grocery store, where they were finally able to get something to eat and drink before the train took off back to Bellows Falls.  Sniffy decided they call it "The Flyer" cuz if the train went over 15 miles per hour, it would most likely fly off the track, cuz they don't need no levels in Vermont when they're building things or putting down train tracks.  He did say it was a reel cool train ride, though, and would recommend it to anybuddy that also likes taking train rides.  If you want to get some more information, you ken jest click here to go to their web site: 

Green Mountain Flyer Train Website

Since the rest of us jest stayed in the motel room, Sniffy told us that train was a reel good train cuz nothing went wrong with it.

North Conway, New Hampshire Train Ride

After we spent a few days in Vermont we went to New Hampshire, which was jest across a state line that we never did see, but a sign said, “Welcome to New Hampshire, so I guess somebuddy musta seen that line sometime, so they knew where to put that sign.

Anyhow, we went to a place where it was a little town, and we had a reel nice motel room and us guys could sit in the window and watch people play miniature golf, and bat a little ball around some whale’s mouth, and into some fake river and pond.

The old folks and Sniffy went to take a train ride, that went 20 miles up the road and the train turned around in some other little town that was even littler than where we was staying.  We din't take no pitchers in North Conway, cuz everything was kinda hidden behind trees.  Since we din't get no pitchers, I'll jest describe the train.  It was a big diesel train that made a lot of noise and smoke and blew its whistle.  It also had about 8 or 7 cars where the people could ride.  Other than that, it was jest a normal train.

Since we got bored reel fast, and after the lady with the rug mower came and cleaned up the room, we turned on the TV.  There was a show with the local news, and it must have been a slow news day, without no bank robberies or anything exciting, so some guy with a funny looking necktie came on and started talking about that train that everybuddy was riding.

The people was mad cuz out at the reel golf course, every time the train went by, the train driver blew the horn and made the golf guys hit the ball crooked so that everybuddy would laugh at them.  Then there was this kid that was probably 10 years old, and he was crying and wearing some reely bad looking pants and shirt that looked like he had bought what was left over at a going out of business sale, so us guys started laughing and figgered that somebuddy showed him what he looked like in a mirror.  That wasn’t the problem, though.  That awful train went by and blew the horn, cuz it was at a road crossing and train rules require them to blow the horn there. Then the train driver took off cuz that golf course was at the bottom of a hill, and he gave it a lot of gas and it made a lot of smoke. (It wasn’t a smoke train like uses coal, but jest a diesel train that needed new spark plugs or somebuddy put in too much oil or something, and it smoked a lot).  That smoke got all over that kid’s clothes, and ruined them, and that’s why he was crying.  Us guys thought that it actually made those ugly clothes look better, but the guy on the TV was looking reel sad and so was the kid’s family, and somebuddy said the kid would probably never be able to play golf ever again, and he would probably need to see a brain doctor to help him to stop crying.

Us guys was all laughing so hard, that a couple of us almost choked, cuz the whole family was wearing those funny looking clothes, and they was all pretty ugly.

Anyway, the old folks rode a different train that went the other way than the golf course, so they din’t get to see no people getting mad at the train. Sniffy reely recommends that train ride, and if youy want some more information about it cuz maybe you like to ride cool trains, too, you ken jest click here to find out more information and see some pitchers of their cool trains: 

North Conway Scenic Train Information

That seemed pretty stupid to us guys with our rubber brains...the train tracks was there for several thousand years, or maybe even longer than that, and the old smoke trains that use coal used to run on those tracks all the time, and they even had cooler, louder whistles, and they blew them all the time, and nobody got mad.  In fact, it was the golf course that decided to put itself there, next to the tracks, then everybuddy at the golf course got mad at the trains, that was already there, even back when trains was pulled by dinosauers and those old fashioned elephants that had reel long tusks and they were reel furry.

What REALLY Happened at North Conway
This story is about right.  We had a great train ride, and we saw an article in the local paper about the golf course fighting with the train owners.  The kid did get his clothes all dirty and ruined his day.  The train tracks were there eons before golf was even invented.


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