The first day we got to Salt Lake City, Utah, where I was born out of
the store shown in the pitcher in 1987.
We went out and saw a big open pit copper mine that was so deep that we
din’t dare get out of the van, except that I got out and got a free
piece of copper ore from the special place where they keep it fer tourists
like us. I still have that rock hid in a special place, cuz it has some
copper in it and it’s worth some money.
To see more about copper mines click below--the second link shows
pictures of the great big hole that we was scared to fall into:
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The second day we got to Reno, Nevada, and spent the night in a big
fancy hotel that had slot machines downstairs. Us guys was reel tired so
we din’t do no exploring or nothing. We didn't even take no pitchers!
Empire Gold Mine,
On the way to Sacramento, we went through Grass Valley, California, and
stopped and took a tour of the Empire Gold Mine, which is an old mine that
dug a zillion bucks worth of gold out of the tunnels underground. Me
and Ty got out of the van and went to check it out.
There was an old door that was locked to keep out people who din't buy
no ticket to go inside, but the door din't fit reel good, in fact, a big
dog could jest walk through it reel easy, so the two of us din't have no
trubble at all. There was some rickety stairs there, so we was jest
reel careful and jumped down them one at a time, and pretty soon we got
down about a hunnert steps, and there was a lot of creepy noises that
sounded like there might have been some ghosts or rats down there, and it
was also getting near time fer lunch, so we decided that we could jest
check it out the next time we go there, so we decided to head back fer the
van. We also heard some water dripping and it smelled reel wet, so
that's always a tip off to us to get out of somewhere!
That was reel tough going, climbing back up them stairs, cuz they were
full of splinters and dirt and stuff, but we finally made it and got back
into the van and told the other guys what we had seen. By then the
old folks was coming back, so we all got ready fer lunch, which we got in
the form of some munchies they bought at a little store back near the ramp
to the highway.
You ken find out more about that Empire Gold Mine by clicking
below. It was reely cool cuz they had all sorts of lecktrickal
things and other mining machines all over the place on the ground where
you could jest go and check them out without climbing no stairs, so I
reely recommend this place.
Then the third day after touring the Empire Gold Mine we got to Sacramento, California, where the old
folks took a bike ride and left us guys alone in the van. We noticed that
some vultures was circling above where the old folks was riding, so we
always knew where they were. Them vultures must figger that they were
likely to get a meal the way some people ride their bikes. I don’t know
fer sure, though.
The fourth day we arrived at San Francisco, California. The best thing
we found out about San Francisco is that there are a lot of reel cool
transportation things to ride on. You ken also drive your cars
there, but you got to have a reel big motor since there are so many exter
tall hills there in San Francisco, so us guys din’t go fer no
walks. Anyway, there was a lot of weirdos hanging around, so we jest
laid low except when we went somewhere with the old folks.
The one thing that you have to do because of the big hills is to park
your car next to the curb on the side of the street and then you have to
turn your front wheels so that if the brakes break and the car tries to
take off, it will jest run into the curb and won’t go racing down the
hill and jump crazy like in the movies.
Well, they paved one of those hilly streets too many times and the tar
came up to the same level as the curb, so this here feller parked his car
near a corner and jest turned the front wheels toward the curb that he
always used to keep his car from running away and he got out and went into
a fish store fer lunch. (Yukk, a fishburger don’t sound very good to
me!) After a few minutes the brake must have broke in that car, cuz it
took off across the sidewalk and raced right into somebuddy’s garage and
made a mess.
If you don’t turn your wheels toward the curb, and your brakes break,
what usually happens is that your car will jest go racing down the hill
and crash into the ocean. In fact, the last half mile or so of land in San
Francisco is made up with fill dirt. In the old days when horse wagons
came loose from the horses and went racing down the hills and crashed into
the ocean, they jest kept filling around them with dirt, and sometimes
that horse wagon also hit a boat and poked a hole in it and made it sink,
so there was very quickly a lot of boats and horse wagons piled up in the
ocean at the edge of town, so it kept some more horse wagons very busy
hauling in dirt to dump in the ocean. I think they still dump in dirt
after a certain number of cars get done crashing into the ocean, but the
cops give you a ticket if you don’t turn your wheels jest right, so they
don’t have very many runaway cars no more, and all the horse wagons are
already in there by now.
If you want some more information about riding all the different buses
and trains and trolley cars and cable cars, you ken jest click your mouse
thingy below for the official website of the San Francisco transit
San Francisco cable cars were jest too old and complicated to mess
with. There are
some big wire cables that run under the street and they go about 10 miles
per hour all the time. The cable cars each have a steel thing attached
onto a big handle that the driver pulls on so he can grab aholt of that
cable and then it pulls the cable car along on some special tracks that
are put into the street. For brakes they have some regular brakes like
trains also have, that grab hold of the wheels and stop the car, but
sometimes when the hill is too steep, they also have another big lever
that the driver guy pulls and it pushes a big stick down and it scrapes on
the street and makes the car stop. If that also doesn’t work, then he
has another thing that grabs hold of something down in the slot where the
cable runs under the street and stops the car in that manner. They had to
do it that way cuz they don’t have no steering wheel on them cable cars,
so they can’t jest turn the wheels toward the curb.
You ken click here to find out more about the cable car museum where
they have some big motors that make the cables run that go under the
streets and pull the cable cars along. That museum is on my highly
recommended list, but none of us guys wanted to go down in the basement
and check out them moving cables, cuz that looked like a reel good way to
get hurt bad enough to end up in the trash!
Trolley Buses are jest a regular
bus that the engine got wore out so they jest bought a lektrik motor and
hooked the wires up to a couple of poles that they put on top of the bus.
Then they had to put up some lektrik wires all around the city so they
could use them to power them buses. Then the poles on the buses hook onto
them wires and slide along
so the lektrik can get to that motor and make the bus go. Once in a while
there was too much traffic and the bus had to go around it and the poles
came off of the wires and then they have a battery down in the basement of
the bus that makes it go fer a couple of blocks or so. Then the driver guy
has to get out and pull a string that holds the poles and wiggle it till
the poles get back onto the wires. Another reason they hook them
buses up to wires is so no hijackers can steal the bus and take it
fer a long ride. (Don't forget that you ken
jest click your mouse thingy over that pitcher and it'll make it a lot
bigger so you ken see how them trolley wire things work. In fact,
all the pitchers in this website that have the blue border around them are
also that way, so be sure to try it out).
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Somebuddy said that if you climb up on the cable that holds them wires
out in the middle of the street, you ken climb down and put one of them
wires on each ear and hear if the next bus is coming.
A nice thing we discovered about San Francisco, and now all of
California, is that they don’t let nobuddy smoke cigarettes or segars in
restaurants and some other buildings no more. Ever since Mrs. Murphy’s
cat knocked over that lantern and started a fire that caused the
earthquake back in 1906, folks have been scared, and they finally passed
that law to prevent another recurrence of that famous incident. They
really are into prevention out there,
jest like the law about turning your wheels toward the curb.
Buses and Trains and Trolley Cars
The old folks bought a couple of tickets fer fifteen dollars each, and
they could ride all the buses fer a whole week all over the place there in
the area. Most times
when we got onto the bus and the old folks showed the driver person the
ticket he din’t even look at it, and lots of people got on through the
back door, and none of them showed any tickets, just maybe a piece of torn
newspaper, and the driver din’t look at them either, so us guys figgered
out that you ken jest show them anything and they’ll let you ride. If
the bus cop catches you, though, he’ll throw you off right into the
street, so rather than take a chance, I’ll sell you the unused part of
those tickets fer 5 cents each. You ken jest show the driver that ticket
and he’ll let you right on. We only jest used 4 days off of the week we
paid fer, so if there’s any trubble, jest remind him of that. Those
tickets are great! They let you ride all the different buses, the train to
the beach, which is shown
in the pitcher. You ken jest see all them wires all over the place where
that train turns around at the beach. It was pretty cold the day we rode
that train, that the homeless bums were all bundled up and din’t even
try to ask fer money. That ticket will also let you ride the World Famous
When we was looking around behind the motel I found this machine called
a “Tommy Translater Machine,” and how it works is that you jest type
in some letters and the little computer brain inside figgers out that word
and then you ken select a particular voice, then anytime you push a
button, it says that word. So, of course, we jest had to have some fun
First, I typed in, “Yo, Mac,” and held it near the window if the
motel, and every time somebuddy came past I pushed the button, but people
in San Francisco are never named “Mac,” I guess, cuz nobuddy never
looked up. Anyway, we had some fun with it the next day when a couple of
us guys went to breakfast with the told folks. We went downtown and had
breakfast at a well known fast food restaurant that I won’t name again,
and while the folks was standing in line, I saw a word on the building
next door to the restaurant, and I didn’t know what it said, so I jest
typed the word in. The word was, “Immigration,” so then I pushed the
button and the machine whispered, “Immigration,” but we could barely
hear it, so Ty turned up the loudness thingy all the way jest as I pushed
the button again, and the machine yelled out, “IMMIGRATION!”
In about three seconds the old folks was standing there all alone in
line, and the parking lot cleared out. Then the back door of the place
flew open and everybuddy but the manager raced off down the alley. I don’t
understand exactly what happened, but that manager got the old folks their
breakfast pretty fast after that! I’m glad that talking machine was
small, cuz we hid it under the seat reel fast, cuz pretty soon a cop came
by looking around to see what was going on, and we jest sat there looking
like some regular stuffed animals till he left.
This was the first trip for our newest brother. His name is “Ty.”
Marcy found him in a Teddy Bear store in Thailand and brought him home to Denver, along with
his little Bicycle Rickshaw thing that he can’t reach the pedals on yet.
He wasn’t used to being cold, cuz it’s always reel hot back home, so
he found the sweater in the sweater drawer, and now he wears it all the
time. The other two guys
in the pitcher followed us out the door after we ate at some fish place in
San Francisco. Their names are “Bubba #1” and “Bubba #2.” We don’t
know which is which, but we figgered out that they probably know. They're
not really Teddy Bears, but maybe they're stuffed animals...we're not
sure. They don’t
do much except hang around and smile a lot, so they probably will have a
hard time assimilating into the crowd with the rest of us.
After eating at that fish place in San Francisco, we went to another
and got a couple of ice cream cones that we was able to share with the old
folks. A bird came and landed next to Sniffy on the railing next to the
ice cream eating tables and Sniffy jumped back and dropped his last piece
of the ice cream cone cuz that big bird was bigger than him and reel
intimidating, so the bird finished it off and was looking around for more.
After getting bored fer a while, that bird flew off, and he was so fat
that he almost couldn’t fly and almost wound up in the ocean below.
The next morning the old folks and Dexter went to breakfast downtown.
After they got their grub, a bum who was begging fer money outside got
lucky and some guy gave him a dollar, so he went inside the world famous
breakfast restaurant, where he (the bum) started arguing with guy behind
the counter. That bum wanted the guy to hurry up cuz now that he had a
dollar, all of a sudden he was a paying customer and was in a hurry to get
his coffee and get back outside to beg fer some more money.
Before leaving San Francisco we went up north and Sniffy got to go with
the old folks and walk out on the Golden Gate Bridge. Sniffy said it didn’t
look very gold, and there was some guys sanding off some rust with
sandpaper, then they was squirting on some orange paint to keep it looking
Then we went to a place called “Stinson Beach,” but a sign said,
“People have been attacked by sharks here, be careful,” so we sure was
careful, anyhow, we all hate water anyway.
After leaving San Francisco, we went South along the ocean and saw lots
of boats and other water things all over the place. Pretty soon we came to
a great big bridge that we didn’t dare play near, cuz that time, we
decided that the warning sign was probably correct.
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